I wish they made helmets for livers.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
