My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
