don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
