Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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