kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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