Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
