It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
