in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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