i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
