yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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