did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
