So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
