Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
