is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Randomize
