Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
