Umm I'm too high to move.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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