All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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