Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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