He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You took a bar mat shot.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
