i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
