You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
