if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
This toilet bowl is my home.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
