just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
