It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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