actually, I'm a sock model
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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