he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
