yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
