Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize