I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
