Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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