shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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