I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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