Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
