R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
