'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
