Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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