Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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