Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
