: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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