just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
so much tequila, so little girl.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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