I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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