3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
