Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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