The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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