If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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