I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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