It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
