The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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