Redeem this text for a blowjob
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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