I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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