He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize