Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
