2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You need a sexual gate keeper
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
