Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
