she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
