you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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