so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
