I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
